Week 31:  Tuning in and dropping out

As thrilled as I am about my new pregnancy, the physical exhaustion that goes along with it is like a heavy weight pulling me down. The feeling is particularly strong in the morning after running around chasing Jacob and after I pick up Zach from preschool. Maybe I'm coming down from the emotional rush of my little guys running to me, shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! It's my mommy!" But more than that, I guess, it's just the fatigue that comes with growing a new human being.

Our post-afternoon routine is now to flip the TV to "SpongeBob Square Pants," and chill out. Zach and Jacob need downtime and they definitely love the show, but in reality I need this daily dose of the boob tube more than they do.

I'm a little worried about Zach's TV watching, to be honest. But not just worried guilty. After all, it's all my doing. Zach doesn't go up and turn on the television. He just begs for it and I give in or worse yet, I turn it on before he even asks. I do try to limit his viewing sessions to 30 minutes at a time, but they often turn into an hour or (okay, I admit it) more. All told, Zach probably watches two hours of TV a day during the week (all Nickelodeon shows or "quality" kids' videos). On Saturday and Sunday's however, it is a different story.  We get out of the house much to the need of Dan wanting to get out of hibernation and be active and the boys love it!  They really enjoy family time on our "road trips".  Dan is an adventurer, so he let's the road take him away and it gives me time to sit back and relax, even though the kids are still with me, they are contained in their seats. Yippie!

Is two hours of TV a day too much for a 4-year-old? Probably. Would it help if Dan were more hands on with Zach and Jacob?, of course. But I know Dan's job is very physical so he comes home tired and sore and he does sweep them away for me on the weekends at times so I can have some "cleaning time". So where does this leave me and Zach? Vegging in front of the TV while Jacob who can't sit still tears up the house.

I've been thinking about pretending the television is broken for a few days, just to see if I can live without it (I'm sure Zach will be fine). But I can never quite bring myself to do it. Frankly, I want the option of parking Zach and Jacob (yea right, Mr. Hyper Diaper) in front of the tube when I just can't summon the physical energy or the emotional "umph" to entertain them. Maybe I should set up a craft table. I can just see it: We'll draw, paint, and glue, the room will be a mess, and a total of ten minutes will have elapsed.

This sounds terrible, doesn't it? In my defense, Zach, Jacob and I do go outside and play when it's not raining. Luckily, there are a lot of parks near us so when it's sunny we hit them all and I try and exhaust them so come nappy time they are ready. I roll around on the grass with them, give horsie rides and calmly (I try) mediate all sorts of sharing disputes with each other and playmates. It's when we come inside that I sort of give up. I guess I just want a chance to lie down for a few minutes, or to get dinner on the table before Zach and Jacob think to asking for "popsicles or cookies," they both have sweet tooth's which I am fully to blame.  But that's why they are both "sweet-hearts".

Needles to say, I am exhausted most of the time so I think my children lack playtime.  However I am not usually like this so I will blame it on this little one inside my ever so huge belly taking away all my energy. . .and good thing he does because once he arrives he will need all the strength he can conger up to put up with his brothers.  Just 8 more weeks. . .hang in there mommy!